How The Process Of Writing A Book Will Change Your Life


The process of writing a book (depending on what kind of book it is) isn’t just hard, it will change your life.

And below are 7 ways how:

 1) You confront your self-doubt 

Sometimes, the first thing that prevents you from even starting to write a book is that you listen to the voice that asks, “Who do you think you are, to write a book?” 

But what may prevent you from finishing is that you may also hear it when you are actually in the process of writing a book.

And you may hear it when you have finished, too. Who do you think you are?

But at some point in the process of writing a book, you’re going to have to confront the self-doubt. And do something even if you feel like you don’t know how. 

2) You realise you’re not the most patient person 

You might want to speed things up. So that you can publish, see your name in print, become a bestselling author, win awards and become famous. In 24hrs. 

Except it doesn’t quite work like that.

3) You learn to decide or recognise who or what’s really important

One of the first decisions I made when I knew for sure that Forever There For You would be released, was to keep the line between my personal and professional lives, clear and thick.

Fortunately, I am married to a man with a similar mindset. Many people didn’t even know when we got married. I didn’t change my surname (at the time) and I didn’t say anything about it on social media.

Cos everything I’d been through with the process of writing a book and afterwards, had taught me how unreal a lot of things are.

Even after I won a BEFFTA (which I admit I’d really actively wanted to win for two years and had given up on before it actually happened). I woke up the day after and realised it didn’t mean as much as I thought it would. 

Don’t get me wrong, I was real happy and grateful (still am). But in that moment and afterwards, I was thankful that I was already happy in my life.

That I hadn’t been relying on that award to make me happy. Cos it really didn’t and I was surprised.

I was surprised not because it’s my first or only award. But cos this was the one I really wanted.

So, I became even more unapologetic about making that demarcation between what’s real for me, from what’s not. And much fiercer about protecting what/who matters to me.

4) You’re confronted with your own humanity.

You find out that even if you (or others) think you’re superhuman, you’re really not. 

One of the terrible habits I somehow acquired when I was at uni, was not eating. No, it wasn’t an eating disorder. I’d get so busy and stressed, I just used to forget to eat. Anyway, it’s a habit I kept after I graduated.

I’m not a medic so I’m not sure what the medical explanation is. But I used to suffer ulcers that were connected with my not eating.

And I remember them flaring up again when I was writing Forever There For You

The day I finished revising the final draft for my publisher, I still remember it was a Friday – I got it printed and bound at the library, then I went home and literally lay on my apartment floor (it had a rug) and cried myself to sleep.

Not cos I wanted to cry but cos the tears just kept coming. I was shot to pieces tired. Physically and emotionally, I was spent.

I couldn’t even get into bed, which was why I was lying on the floor. I went to sleep hungry cos I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t move my hands. I kept wondering if I’d broken something…

I’ve tried to not push myself that hard and far again. And I have had some tasking assignments and even crazier deadlines.

But (like my husband likes to tell me) if anything were to happen to me, a writing client will find my replacement in 2mins. Ouch!

5) You realise that very few things in this life are about you 

The process of writing a book will teach you how unimportant yet strangely crucial you are, in the grand scheme of things. 

You’re a vessel, a tool, nothing more.

Which is why it’s really important you don’t take any of the external stuff, too seriously.

6) You begin to see things in yourself you didn’t realise were there

Things like courage, potential for addiction, or jealousy. Until I had completed the process of writing a book, I didn’t know I had it in me to go through with it.

7) You recognise that some people already in (or that you let into) your life are cray-cray 

I was legit confused when a gossip blogger contacted me to ask me to ‘leak’ info on my own life. That’s when it dawned on me why some people in the public eye can never sue certain media outlets for breach of privacy.

It’s cos some celebrities are the ones supplying the private information.

But I was shocked to find there were people within the peripheries of my life and my husband’s, willing to supply information to outsiders. 

Dealing in gossip has never been my thing. So, I don’t know that any media publication pays sources (with certain kinds of information) a lot of money. And I can’t be sure what the real motivation was.

How I reacted? Actively supplied specific individuals with some fake news and quietly watched it go viral. Then, the hubs and I went on a firing spree. Petty, I know…

 The process of writing a book will change your life and turn it outside out. Yet, it’s probably what nobody warns you about. 

What’s the one thing you thought you’d never change but did as soon as you achieved a goal? Leave the answer as a comment below

2 thoughts on “How The Process Of Writing A Book Will Change Your Life

  1. I can’t say for sure if I felt more than you’ve explained but I have actually felt all these, affecting my life as I wrote my book ‘Survival’. It is reassuring to know those feelings were part of a process!

  2. well, writing a book has thought me many things and the most important of them all is that people only love you when you are below them. The friends you think you had will shock you. Anyway, just go ahead and do your thing because at the end of the day, strangers are your best friends…

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